CisterSpeak

Wendy Williams Vs. Omarosa

I couldn't stand Omarosa when she first appeared on the Apprentice and I can't stand her stank butt now.  I was actually surprised at how long it took Wendy before she really started digging into her.  The pettiness between the two of them was so sad and only worked towards solidifying the "angry black woman" sterotype. 

The whole thing started the moment that Omarosa came out on stage not liking the way Wendy introduced her.  Within the first thirty seconds she started off saying that she was "not going to be disrespected."  Then Wendy picked up the book Omarosa was trying to promote, 'The Bitch Switch,' and Oma went and snatched it right out of her hand and acted a damn fool for the remainder of the interview.  I will admit that Wendy's facial expressions throughout the whole thing were comical.  Basically it was another bid for publicity for Omarosa and a 'role-reversal' moment for Wendy.

Negotiating Your Salary

I can't begin to express how important it is to know what your professional worth is.  Talking about money is an awkard and difficult situation for any job applicant.  That's why it's important that you prepare well in advance for the money discussion at anytime during your employment search.  Many African American women end up accepting less money because they have no real idea of how salary negotiation works.

Research is THE MOST important thing that you can do before talking to a prospective employer about money.  The internet has even made it easier with sites like salary.com, vault.com and payscale.com.  Besides those sites, check salary comparisons for different job postings.  Many companies will not list a salary, but some do list a range that you can use as an industry comparison.  Also remember that cost of living plays a huge factor in salary negotiations as well.  A nurse in Tennessee is not going to be in the same salary range as a nurse in New York or Los Angeles.  Be realistic and well informed before going to the table.

No matter how much you think you are worth make sure that you're prepared to back it up.  Also remember to be relaxed and not overly anxious.  If at all possible, try to get the employer to be the first to thow out a figure, this leaves you in a much better position to negotiate.  Adrienne Graham has a wonderful article on this very topic in her networking blog here. She offers a wealth of great information for professional women (all women acutally) and is a site I definitely recommend bookmarking.

HUD Trying to Eliminate Down Payment Assistance Programs

On June 16, 2008, The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) proposed a rule to eliminate all Private Down payment Assistance Programs (DPA).  This will severely threaten the opportunity for low to moderate income families to access programs such as these that help them with the financial resources many of them need to get a down payment.  Two of the biggest DPA programs, Nehemiah and Ameridream are doing all they can to raise public awareness of the issue.

This is not the first time that HUD has tried to eliminate DPA's, however, due to the current mortgage crisis poorly educated first-time home-buyers are being partially blamed for the housing situation.  Unfortunately this poses a problem for many individuals and families who are credit worthy, but simply lack the necessary savings that are needed to fulfill their goal of homeownership.  For that reason please tell HUD that you support homeownership and that they need to find a way to keep programs such as Nehemiah and Ameridream running, so that owning a home can be a reality for thousands of hardworking individuals and families.

All comments opposing the rule need to be submitted before August 15, 2008.  With a little less then a month remaining in which to respond, we are urging that you pass this call to action along to your family and friends.  Chances are that one or more of them are recipients of, or, know someone who has benefited from a DPA.  Doing this will only take a few minutes out of your day, but will be a benefit to thousands.

Please visit www.supporthomeownership.com and The Nehemiah Alert Page to make your voice heard.

Thank you!

 

Need a Moisture Boost? - Olive Oil

For one of the best skin and hair care products in the market, you need look no further then your kitchen cabinet.  Olive oil is wonderful because of its many uses.  Besides giving great flavor and nutrional value to food, it's awesome for your hair and skin as well.  Although olive oil has become an essential component in many products out there, some are cheaply manufactured and made with poor quality ingredients that sometimes do you more harm than good.  Below are some helpful ideas in how to incorporate it into your beauty regiment.

African American skin is prone to dryness and Olive Oil works wonders to help combat this.  Although I prefer to mix it with essential oils (to help with the smell) and apply it directly to my skin, I've found that mixing three tablespoons into whatever lotion I'm using with one or two drops of lavendar essential oil leaves my skin soft and moisturized too.  Because it's high in antioxidants (vitamin E) it also helps protect the skin against aging. (Wrinkle Free is the Key!)

If your nails and cuticles are looking a little...ahem...tore up?  Put some olive oil into a bowl, zap it in the microwave for 10 seconds and then soak your nails in it for 30 min.  Afterwards, mix two tablespoons of the oil with two tablespoons of sugar and mix them together; rub the solution on your hands until the sugar begins to dissolve.  Rinse it off with lukewarm water, and you'll be left with smooth, soft hands.

I also LOVE olive oil for my hair; it leaves it shiny and moisturized without being limp and weighed down.  Gently warm the oil and apply about three tablespoons (a little more if necessary) and apply directly to the hair and scalp. Massage for about 10 min, cover with plastic cap and let sit for 20 min.  Rinse out then shampoo and deep condition as you normally would.  Hint: I also add a tablespoon to my deep conditioner and rinse with cold water.

Where are all the Good Brothers At?

Isn't funny how long a negative comment or action can last?  I don't know how many times I've heard about something a man has done several years prior that seem to follow behind him like a wayward shadow.  Although time is considered 'infinite,' a man's mistakes are too often finite.  Now there are some things that are well deserved of this social view, don't get me wrong, but all too often we tear down without uplifting.

Then of course there is always the outcry of "where are all the good men?"(with the typical response being they are taken)  Ladies, I'm here to tell you that they are out there.  They are educated, well spoken, respectful, hardworking and well groomed.  They are men that you can depend on and know how to depend on you.   They are men that teach their kids everything from how to ride a bike to how to give and demand respect.  Some are great friends who give blunt but honest advice, or are strong shoulder to cry on when needed.  Others are good husbands who support their home, love their wives and uphold their families.   And before you even lift your finger to respond that this is stuff that they should be doing anyway, I just want to know why its a shame when men don't these things but on the other hand, only a simple expectation when they do?

We haven't even mentioned the single fathers! Everyone knows children don't come with a manual.  I personally know a few that work (and work hard at that) to make sure their child is provided for; all the while trying to fill a roll in which they're learning everyday.  The late night games are replaced with miniature tea parties in chairs they can't hope to fit in.  Hot dates with manicured nails and sexy heels are traded for sticky little hands and washing dirty feet.  Tears are wiped away, bath tubs are filled and monsters are chased out from under the bed.  An afternoon can be spent assembling a bunk bed or building a fortress.  Meals are burned, learning to braid is needed for survival and grandmothers are a God-send.

Then of course there are the big brothers, mentors, leaders and role models.  These are the fellas that take the time out of their day to talk to your son, nephew, brother or cousin.  Streets smarts are intermingled with book smarts; drugs replaced with books; guns with diplomas and degrees.  They are the ones with whom futures are discussed, prayers are taught and dreams are dusted off and closely examined.    Life can be such a journey (one we don't always understand); but one of the hardest journeys in life, is that of a boy becoming a man.  These brothers help steer that process along.

So if any of your men are anything like the men we described, PLEASE let him know he is appreciated.  Don't take for granted all the little things they do, because there are plenty of women out there that would trade places with you in a heartbeat (with your ungrateful behind).  Remember to always appreciate that good man that you have.

How to Boost Your Energy

One of the biggest ways to boost your energy level is to get rid of your 'mental to do list.'  Our brains do enough as it is, without having to remember everything you didn't do, or haven't gotten to yet.  Imagine a garden hose with holes poked throughout.  How much of the lawn are you going to be able to cover with water constantly leaking out of the hose?  Besides increasing your frustration (right along with your water bill) you won't be doing much of anything.  The first thing you need to do is to find out what your energy drainers are.

The biggest culprits are usually things you have to do around the house.  Laundry, cleaning out the closet, paying a bill that is months (or years) old, changing the tires on your car, picking up old items at the cleaners, cleaning your garage etc.  These are all things that are typically running through your mind each and everyday, yet and still you put off, each... and... every... day.  What you don't realize however, is that even though your not engaging in completing the tasks, they are still sucking you dry without you even having to lift a finger.  To help you identify everything on your list, take a moment and write down everything you've been meaning to do, need to do, haven't gotten to yet or told your husband/boyfriend/uncle/cousin to do.  Write down EVERYTHING; even if it's as simple as dusting off the coffee table.

Once your list is complete the fun begins.  Pick a weekend that you can dedicate to cleaning off your list (yes, you will need the whole weekend).  Start in the morning and do as many things as you can do in that day.  Leave items like paying off a loan, or replacing all four car tires for later.  Focus only on the things that you are able to do at that time.  If you can, have a buddy help you.  By the end of the weekend you will be surprised at how energetic you feel after getting rid of all your baggage.  For the items that are still on your list give yourself a time limit for each task and work at it until they too are gone.  Have someone you trust (who's also reliable) be your counselor to help motivate you and keep you on track.

Plugging all your energy drains takes a lot of time and commitment from you.  After all, these are things you have been dragging along for who knows how long?  More often then not we are worrying and depressed about half of the tasks we have to accomplish, but come up with varying excuses as to why we can't do them at the moment.  Those of you who take good care of your computer, know you have to occasionally clean out the hard drive to improve its performance.  Well, our brains pretty much act the same way and we need to get rid of old 'clutter' too.  While it won't be easy, the end result more than makes up for all the challenges involved.  So get to it ladies, bust a move! 

When to Let Go

I sat there staring unemotionally at the phone as it vibrated right off the coffee table. The familiar ring tone used to bring an automatic smile and the occasional butterfly in my stomach; now it had me rolling my eyes and breathing deeply, as I tried my best to drown out the incessant noise with the television. Not much good it would do anyway seeing as how we lived in the same house; but shit, peace, even if only for a few minutes, was so worth it. My eyes were glued to the TV monitor but my mind was racing with all kinds of thoughts of: what I should do, where should I go, when did it get this way and better yet, WHY THE HELL AM I STILL HERE?!?!

Of course I knew the answers to all the questions. But, knowing them and admitting them to myself are two totally different things (the latter of which I absolutely REFUSED to do). I didn't want to admit to myself and my family that yet another relationship had failed. I didn't want to hear my mother's I told you so, when she advised us that we should not have moved in together. I didn't want to admit to my best friend that his accusations of my infidelity were just a way for his ego to accept the truth of his. I didn't want to admit to my father, that he was right about him in the first place....and the list just went on and on, endlessly replaying themselves. A quick glance at the clock told me it was a few minutes past six; I didn't have much time left before he'd be home. So I sat there waiting, my ears alert, ready to hear the 'beep' of his car alarm that would signal his arrival. As soon as I heard it I would bite down my instant revulsion and escape upstairs to watch TV on the smaller unit, accurately guessing that he would leave me in peace as he occupied the big screen.

Hearing him rummaging around in the kitchen, opening and closing doors and cabinets gave me perverse pleasure in knowing that he was obviously starving. Dinner was delicious, but he would never know, as I cooked just enough to feed myself. However, I did make sure not to ventilate the house so that I could leave the aroma lingering, just so he would know he missed another meal. Things hadn't always been this way; however, he'd spoiled it by accusing me of cooking for other men and not for him one too many damn times. Tired of the fights that would ensue over his overactive imagination; I became a master at cooking meals for one. After all, you can't accuse me of cooking for others; if I only cook enough for myself now can you??? So I would literally stop at the grocery store (it was within 5 min walking distance) everyday after work and pick up just enough to cook a small meal for that night. It was a petty, vicious cycle with no clear end in sight.

After three months of living as 'distant roommates' I'd finally had enough. Accusations now carried more weight then the truth. The fights were more frequent, the voices were getting louder and whatever feelings had been there, were now completely non-existent (more a distant dream than reality). The only tricky part was trying to find a nice, polite and diplomatic way of telling him to get the hell out. Well, luckily for me, turned out I didn't have to. After one particularly nasty [physical] blowout, he walked out... and just like that... it was over. No tears, no blood (although I could have happily gouged his eyes out), no regrets, no embarrassment, just complete and utter joy on my part (which is the only one that really mattered to be honest). In the end I was left with paying the rent, car insurance and pretty much every other bill we created; but none of that mattered, because most importantly...I was happy.

Often times we make excuses for staying in relationships that we know are not going to work out. Be it financial security or strong emotional ties we just can't break, we continue to stay in these situations leading to Nowhere Ville. I always considered myself to be above situations such as this. I was strong willed, well educated, from a 'good home' and had been in the relationship for several years; but there I was in a foolish (made for TV) situation, I SWORE to myself I would never be in.

Ladies... stop making excuses, listen to yourself and follow your intuition. If your gut is telling you something is not right and your heart is telling you to leave.....GET OUT.

For the Fashionistas at Heart...Nneka Hurley Handbags!

You've probably heard the name around the web (Concrete Loop has her featured on their designer spotlight read here).  Nneka hurley is quickly rising as a gifted young designer out of Virginia. but now representing Jersey.  Recently having a launch party for her spring 2008 line, you will soon be able to find her clutches and shoulder bags in stores!

I love her bags because they are trendy and unique.  When you wear yours you can pretty much guarantee that every other chick near you isn't rocking the same cloned cookie cutter bag (i.e. coach).  And not to mention that they can also pretty much compliment any outfit from jeans to a sexy cocktail dress,  even celebrities are loving her designs from Keyshia Cole, EVE and Bre (from ANTM). 

You can checkout her designs (which are nearly all sold out), as well as, get ordering information here at her myspace page.

Buying a House in '08?

With the housing market in such turmoil, it's absolutely crucial to research every nook, cranny and detail if your planning to buy a house this year.  Although it's old, Black Enterprise had a wonderful article in their August 2007 issue with some great home buying tips which we have right here for you.  You obviously already know that you have to do a considerable amount of research before buying a house (those of you who don't know that, well....ummm yea), this article gives you great insight to help get you started. It's a little long so grab something to snack on and do your thing.

LIKE MANY YOUNG PEOPLE, PAMELA Jowers dreamed of one day getting married and buying a home with her future husband. But the 31-year-old, who lives in Moody, Alabama, decided that she didn't need a ceremony to make her dream come true. She obtained a master's degree, a new job, and, about a year later, realized her dream of homeownership.

"At this point in my life, I feel like I'm really grown," says Jowers with sincerity. "I think I've reached a different stage in my life spiritually, and once my accountant told me that I had only two options to get a tax break--buy a house or have a baby--I told her I only had one option."

Although about 40% of first-time home buyers are single, single women purchase a whopping 22% of all homes, while single men account for 9%, according to the National Association of Realtors. Single or married, African Americans are keeping pace with their minority counterparts on the home-buying front: The homeownership rate for African American households during the fourth quarter of 2006 was 48.2%, while Hispanic households were at 49.5%.

The benefits to homeownership are tremendous. "Homeownership is important for two reasons: The equity in our home is the single, largest asset, so we champion homeownership as the foundation of wealth for African Americans," says Alfred A. Edmond Jr., editor-in-chief of BLACK ENTERPRISE. "The second reason is that having an ownership stake encourages homeowners to make sound financial decisions in other areas such as investing, credit management, and retirement planning." That's why the No. 1 Declaration of Financial Empowerment principle is: I will use homeownership as a foundation for building wealth.

For Jowers and others who entered the BLACK ENTERPRISE Own Your First Home Contest last year, the benefits, such as building equity and having a place to call your own, far outweigh the bumps and bruises along the way. "When I encountered some problems, people would tell me, 'Oh, I had my husband take care of that." Since that wasn't an option, she researched, and researched some more. "Even with doing lots of research, there were still things I didn't know," she says.

With the 2007 homeownership contest fast approaching (see sidebar, "Stop Dreaming and Start Owning"), here are 10 things you need to know before you start to buy a home.

1. Double-check your credit. Get a free credit report from www.annnalcreditreport.com. If you find erroneous data, contact the three major credit bureaus: Experian (www.experian.com), Equifax (www.equifax.com), and TransUnion (www.transunion.com) to file a dispute. By law, these agencies have 30 days to dispute inaccurate or incomplete information and respond or it must be removed from your credit report. If there are past bills owed, try to negotiate a settlement amount starting at 50% of the total. Kina Lane, a licensed real estate salesperson and owner of Sunflower Development Partners, a boutique commercial real estate development company in New York, says to position yourself to qualify for a mortgage by having strong credit, a stable income, and a good debt-to-income ratio. Raise your credit score by making payments on time, keeping credit card balances below 30% of the available balance, and keeping unused accounts open.

2. Determine your true Income. Calculate the total income for you and your co-purchaser, if applicable. This includes you monthly income, including investments or alimony. Then list all your monthly expenses such as a car note and insurance premiums, utility bills, childcare, and even groceries. Finally, include credit card payments, personal loans, and other monthly obligations. Next, subtract your expenses from your income. Use Bankrate.com's mortgage calculators to determine how much house you can afford. The result is an estimate of what income is available toward repaying a mortgage.

3. Get preapproved before you go looking for a home. One of the biggest mistakes that first-time home buyers make is finding a home they love but not knowing if they can afford it. You can receive a preapproval letter from any mortgage lender, even online ones. Just be prepared to provide the lender with documentation about your assets and income, and let them run your credit report. Otherwise, the most you'll be able to get is a prequalifying letter, which is meaningless to most home sellers and real estate agents.

4. Put together a team of professionals. Whenever possible, use referrals from people you trust to help you locate a realtor, real estate attorney, lender, title company, home inspector, and appraiser. You can call your local chapter of the National Association of Realtors.  Also, check with your local real estate association to see if any complaints have been filed against those you are considering. "Find someone you can trust. Even with referrals, you need to listen and see if the person has your best interest at heart," advises Helen Flowers, winner of our 2006 Own Your First Home Contest. "Find your own team of professionals that are not connected to a builder, a seller, or a real estate agent. And don't always go with the cheapest service, because this decision will last for years and the costs are significant."

5. Study the market. Begin your research early. Review neighborhoods, types of homes, crime rates, transportation, infrastructure, price ranges, and school rankings at SchoolMatters.com or GreatsSchools.net. A good school district will help increase the value of your home. Sites like www.property shark.com and www.zillow.com offer property tax information, estimates on values of neighborhoods, the last sale price of a home, tax assessments, and even an aerial view of a property. Also, interview several realtors in the area and don't be afraid to stake out ideal locations, speak to the neighbors, and attend zoning and planning meetings.

6. Determine the right mortgage for you. A 30-year fixed-rate mortgage is the most common and the safest. However, lenders do offer adjustable-rate mortgages that will have a lower interest rate initially but can jump several percentage points, in effect changing your monthly payment by several hundred dollars. Steven Limehouse, a 28-year-old who closed on his Summerville, South Carolina, home in April, found the rate of an ARM attractive but opted for a 30-year fixed rate mortgage at 6% interest to avoid of the uncertainty of monthly ARM payments. Many homes are currently in foreclosure because the owners took on an ARM at the height of the housing boom in the early 2000s but couldn't keep up with the higher payments once their rate went up a few years later.

There are so many programs out there, including interest-only loans, fixed- and adjustable-rate mortgages, even 100% financing. To avoid predatory lending, ask lenders and brokers about (1) the interest rate; (2) the length of the loan; (3) the type of mortgage; (4) prepayment penalties (do not agree to these, no matter what); and (5) the total amount of the mortgage and monthly payments. A great place to compare local rates is www.mortgage-calc.com, where you can find current mortgage interest rates and calculate first-time mortgage options.

7. Locate first-time home buyer programs. If you need mortgage help, instead of opting for an ARM, seek assistance from first-time buyer programs or government agencies. Try nonprofit organizations such as the American Dream Down Payment Assistance (www.americandreamdownpaymentas sistance.com), the Nehemiah Program (www.getdownpay ment.com), and American Family Funds (americanfamily funds.com). For more assistance, check out www.GinnieMae.gov and www.FannieMae.gov. Also, look for regional first-time home buyer programs and visit www.hud.gov for a complete list of approved housing counseling agencies.

8. Use a home inspector. Your home will probably be the most expensive purchase you'll ever make. Don't take the seller's word about the quality of the structure and don't rely simply on an appraisal from your insurance company. Hire your own home inspector, who has no ties to the home. He will be working for you to make sure that you are making a sound decision based on the structural integrity of the home.

9. Be prepared for closing. There are a lot of documents to sign, so have a lawyer who will take the time to explain the forms and the various fees, such as origination fees, attorney's fees, inspection, survey, etc. Approximately one month prior to the closing date, send a query to everyone on your team confirming the exact closing date and asking if you or anyone on the team needs to submit any additional paperwork. Often, the bank may not inform the closing attorney until the last minute about the closing date, so it's important that you keep the process moving and get all of your questions answered. Also, do a walk-through of your home before signing on the dotted line. You want to check to make sure everything is in order as agreed.

10. Save. Save. Save. Save at least three months' worth of payment, interest, taxes, and insurance (PITI) before you buy. It is important to remember, however, that the costs of buying a home include more than just PITI. Figure into your budget cash reserves for moving, emergencies, unforeseen repairs, association dues; maintenance, and upgrades. In addition, closing costs are typically 3% to 5% of the the purchase price. And usually you'll need a down payment of 5% to 20%. It takes alot of time, preparation and determination to buy a home, but it's well worth it. For more information on the homeownership process, see our series in the March through July 2006 issues of BE and log on to www.blackenterprise.com written by: Tanisha A. Sykes and Sheree R. Curry.

Michael Jackson in Foreclosure

Michael Jackson is facing the foreclosure of his Neverland Ranch in California.  The Former 'King of Pop', will lose the ranch unless pays the estimated $25.4 million owed on the property by March 19.  MSNBC reports that Jackson has been made aware of the situation in a five page filing explaining his deed of trust default. A copy of the five page filing can be found here.

Jackson not only faces losing the 2,800 acre ranch, but pretty much everything in it.  I'm sure there are still a lot of fans out there hoping and wishing that the former pop star will be able to get out of this one...Sorry folks, but he's leveraged up to his eyeballs nor does he really do anything besides hibernate, to fill his empty coffers.  He doesn't go on tour, his 'special addition Thriller album' basically flopped and he doesn't even make an effort to connect to his loyal, devoted and delusional fans.  I can only shake my head a this one.

If you want the full story click -->'King of Pop'